when we found out

We tried for several months and panic was beginning to set in. I am 30. I had this constant tape playing in my head of people saying over the last few years, “well, don’t wait too long. It won’t get easier to get pregnant and be pregnant with age. Plus, the older you are the more risk is involved.” We were nearing the time frame in which you are supposed to go see the doc and have the trying-hasn’t-worked-so-should-we-be-worried conversation.

I let two dear friends know the last week we were in Miami how much the what-if thoughts had consumed me. They spoke words of wisdom and encouragement and they fell on my worried heart like salve. They prayed with me and for me before we parted ways and I got in my car feeling so much more at peace than when I had first arrived at the coffee shop.

Just a few short weeks later, Andrew and I found ourselves in the midst of painting and unpacking in the new house. The time had come when we would learn if this month was the month we had been hoping for and I was nervous and excited. Now, you should know that my husband is not a fan of spending money. The month before he had cut me off from the digital pregnancy test. I was taking one or two a month and he let me know that he could not afford my habit. So to the dollar store we went to pick up a test or two. I would take the dollar store test first and if that one read positive I would take the digital test too to confirm the positive reading.

They say the best time to take a test is in the morning because you’ll get the most accurate results the earlier you are in your pregnancy. The night before I set everything up so that I’d be ready to go first thing in the morning. Then I went to bed. And woke up every hour on the hour it seemed because I was so excited and could not stand the waiting. Finally, I looked at the clock and it was 6am. I shot out of bed {a rare occasion to be sure} and ran for the bathroom. First up, the dollar store test. I thought I had a dud. The whole oval turned pink at first and just as I began cursing the cheap product, the two lines appeared. And I started shaking. I got out the digital test which had let me down so many times before and laid it flat on the counter, fully anticipating to have to wait the agonizing 3 minutes it usually took to tell me that I am not pregnant. Not this time. That little screen took no time to “think” this time. Pregnant. In seconds.

I quickly ran to Andrew and yelled for him to wake up! This startled him, you know, since he’d been fast asleep, and he had panic written all over his face, but then he focused in on mine. And he knew what I had been up to because of the smile I wore. He rushed into the bathroom to see the results for himself. And we shared these big grins with looks of wonder for a few seconds and hugged for a few minutes.

We went back to bed and Andrew prayed for us and for the life we had created. We talked and tried to process what had just happened and what life was going to look like in the next few months and years. It was one of the best mornings of my life and I will treasure it forever. All of that hope and anticipation in the previous months culminating to this morning of excitement and tender, quiet moments. What a gift! And I got to share it with my best friend.

P.S. If you missed our official announcement yesterday you can see it here.

we have big news

real housewife of orange county

Hi! Remember me? I did not drop off the face of the planet though it may seem that way. The last two months were busy, busy, busy with Christmas, packing, moving, and improving. I am quite sad that I did not get to blog through Christmas. It’s my favorite time of year and I took some really great pictures that I was really excited about posting. Who knows? I still might. I didn’t feel much like blogging. Christmas felt weird. We only pulled out an 1/8th of our decorations and we were so busy with travel, saying our goodbyes and packing that it just felt…different. I think the crazy mix of emotions over leaving Miami and moving to Orlando did me in, too. So here is hoping next Christmas is bloggerific with much more reflection on it’s importance and celebrations.

I am officially a real housewife of Orange County. Not the type with a glorious tan, pouty lips, designer jeans, and luxurious locks with a whole lot of drama. Just the unpacking boxes still and trying to make our first house feel like a home type. I completely adore our neighborhood. We are just 10 minutes from downtown and we live in a place that feels like it might have back in the day. Quaint and charming. Parks everywhere. Shops and restaurants a stones throw away. Complete with friendly, welcoming neighbors! AND I am a proud owner of an annual pass to the Happiest Place on Earth. Life is good! 

I’ll have to post pics and posts about the improvements going on around here. Don’t hold your breath for anything nearly as amazing or insightful as Young House Love. Those types of things we leave for the professionals. I am off to delve into Acts and my BSF study questions. In all of this busy, busy, busy I have not had nearly enough time to be quiet and still. I’m going to go make time for that right now. I need it!

wednesdays

Wednesdays are dear to me. A lot of good comes to my heart every single Wednesday. I am immeasurably grateful for that. It starts for me when I get to Kellie’s house to pick her up. She started going with me to BSF this year. I didn’t think it could get any better for me until she started coming along. 

We get to stand together and sing old hymns to affirm our faith. And we sit together during the lecture, while we feverishly write notes as Barbara speaks truth and wisdom straight from God’s Word into our hearts. Then we walk out together talking excitedly about the lecture and the discussion and the upcoming lesson. We visit with friends, some new and some women we grew up with teaching us Sunday School as little kids. I take her back to her house and hang out for a bit before I head over to my in-laws house where I meet Andrew for lunch. We hang out and eat and I steal a couple of kisses mid work day before he’s on his way. 

Then Maddie Bell and I hang out on the front lawn under the shade of a big tree and I dive into my BSF lesson for the week. On some Wednesdays I will go and pick Stacey up from school and catch up with her for a bit. And the day is positively perfect to me.

I literally feel as though I am grieving over losing it. We move in a month. I only have one more BSF Wednesday left. One. And it hurts my heart enough to bring tears brimming to the surface every single time I think about it. And depending on where I am when I think about it, I’ll allow them to brim up and over and I get lost in my grief because it’s that kind of heavy. I need to feel it to move on from it. And I know it’s just the beginning of the process.

I know I will still go to BSF. I will still get the same lessons and be in the Word and doing the same study Kellie and many friends are doing in Miami. And I am blessed to have a friend attending the BSF in Orlando. I won’t be alone and I know I’ll make friends. It’s just that the Wednesdays here are so special. And the Wednesdays there will just be different.

I am so grateful for the sweetness of my current Wednesdays. I am so glad I got to have them. I’ll always treasure them and the people I got to share them with.

time away

We are entering a really crazy time in our lives. Andrew and I discuss daily how difficult this next month or two is going to be and what we can do to be efficient and manage our time wisely. This past weekend marked the first of 4 trips for us this month. During the holiday season. In the month that we are relocating to a new city. There were moments this weekend that I appreciated so very much and that I feel so blessed for having. Then there were moments I saw how much I had to learn about myself and marriage and the quality of my character. {More on that at the end}

This weekend we spent time with great friends and found out that it takes 9 minutes and 27 seconds to walk from their front door to the one we will call our own by the end of this week. (Yep, we close on our first house THIS Friday, but won’t move in for a few more weeks.} We also went to Andrew’s firm Christmas party and it was lovely. I was able to meet several of his new colleagues and I had a wonderful time sharing a meal with them. He has been so blessed with a great job and great people to work with on a daily basis! We can honestly say they are all fabulous people! {No quirky Dwight Schrutes in their midst.}

And we even got to spend time with family because Cutie Pie and Little Man came into town for a visit. {Special thanks to their mama and daddy for making the drive. We enjoyed our time with you two as well!} I cannot explain to you how much good it does my heart to spend time with these two little ones. Cutie Pie had a blast riding the ferry and the train with Aunt Sha Sha, and truth be told, I think it was more fun for me and a memory forever etched onto my heart. It’s the little things, ya know? Combine that with a smile from Little Man specifically for me and I am just filled to the brim with real joy. I love those kids!

|| I could not for anything get rid of the red-eye in this picture even though I tried 3 different editing software programs. I had to include it because you can clearly see the fun they were having. ||

Now for the ugly part. For the most part, Andrew and I had some great times just the two of us with lots of laughs and smiles and all around good times. However, this weekend I also realized how selfish and self centered I really am because I allowed the pressure of this month to bare down on me so much that I was not always nice to Andrew when we discussed the move and the busyness and the schedule for the month. When he didn’t see it my way it was the highway. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I know I have said stuff like this before…about him being nice and me being downright mean. So clearly I’ve got a lot to learn about marriage and patience and loving in general. And he would tell you the same thing about himself. I am grateful that he has that kind of attitude about it. To be honest, I know what gets me in trouble; it’s not starting my day in the Word and consistently meditating on it and praying throughout the day. It never fails. The days I wake up and get right to it are the days I see life differently and I love people better and I can handle the things that aren’t part of my plan. I know that the busier and more stressful life is, the more I need to stop and stand before the Lord. Praying that I take my own advice!

that thing i kept avoiding

Soooooooo…I have this problem. I like to be super organized. And for the most part I am super organized when it comes to my classroom stuff because I don’t think I would function well otherwise. However, I am also busy, busy, busy with project after project after project. And I get excited and I tend to move on before I should. Which means sometimes what started off as super organized ends up as not so organized at all once the project or unit is said and done. Catch my drift or am I talking in circles here? 

For about 3 years I was lackadaisical when it came to filing in the classroom. {Baaaaaaaaad idea!} I felt like there was so much begging for my attention and energy that I’d catch up on my filing one day. This resulted in a full {and heavy} box of papers that had not been filed. I tackled those papers months ago and finished filing all of it after about a month. The other day I decided to take my files further and break them down a bit more. And now in the midst of the Christmas bins and moving boxes you will find the mess pictured here.  

Why now? Why would I decided to take all of my files out of the filing cabinets and file everything away by subject area? Well, because I don’t know when else I’m going to do it and I’m not sure if my files will be easy to get to once they are stored away in the new house. I know this will make my teaching life so much easier whenever I go back to teaching. I was always able to find things I needed because everything was alphabetized, but this is going to be so much better. 

Please tell me there is another teacher out there who can relate! Does anyone else feel like the only way to stay sane in the classroom is to be super clean and organized, but has a closed closet full of hidden unfiled papers or something like that? I really hope so because I feel like I am partially confessing to get this secret off my chest and partially because I want to be honest so that other teachers who beat themselves up over not being perfect {like me} can feel like they aren’t alone! 

Well, I am off to file away and be done with this by tonight. Lesson learned here…file everyday, even if it’s just for 10 minutes and even if planning for the next unit sounds like way more fun.

you should see this place

It’s crazy around here. Have I mentioned we are moving? In one month? During all of the holiday hustle and bustle? I knew because of our crazy travel schedule this December and the fact that we are relocating to a new city would mean I’d have to scale back on the Christmas decor, but I just could not live I tell you without a Christmas tree. So we busted out the 6 bins of Christmas {and left 2 more boxes in the garage} so that I could go through them and make sure I got to all our tree ornaments. 

Please allow me to give you an idea of what my house was like exactly one week ago. {And truth be told, not much has changed since these photos were taken.}

Now, you know when you move it allows you the perfect opportunity to go through all of your stuff {All. of. your. stuff!} and get rid of things so that you aren’t packing and hauling what you don’t want or use anymore. It just so happened that our only free Saturday in a 6 week time period was this last Saturday. SO we went into Operation Seek and Purge in overdrive while trying to also put up the tree. Ha!

I am a teacher…currently not teaching with a garage FULL of classroom stuff. And going through ALL of that stuff made me super nostalgic and downright emotional. So I spent an entire {8 hour} day last week going through classroom memories and boohoo-ing over the fact that I am not teaching right now. {Hello? Self-imposed unemployment. Move on and get over it, right? What can I say? I’m a mess.} Going through and purging your things is a lot of work! And my getting all emotional about it did not help matters around here. {Insert a thousand apologies here for that one night last week I was not very nice to my husband because of my bad mood and poor attitude and ridiculously irrational and emotional state.}

|| Isn’t he beautiful??? Oh my goodness – I love him!!! ||

There were piles like this everywhere. Ev.er.y.where! In multiple rooms. It was crazy. Needless to say, I am sooooooooo glad we had the garage sale, got rid of a bunch of stuff, and made some cash money to go towards painting our new house. {Holla!} 

We have currently replaced all of the garage sale piles with empty boxes for packing. If you would like to donate packing boxes to our move, we are accepting all offers. I am also accepting offers for prayer and spa dates. This gal needs the Lord’s wisdom, peace, and joy right now, and a little massage wouldn’t be so bad either. ;)