some things can only begin to heal with sun and friends

This morning Andrew and I drove Sonia, Al, and Lisa to the airport.


{Please excuse the lack of make-up here. Just focus on the cute baby.}









They will be taking her back to God’s Littlest Angels, the orphanage that she came from 3 months ago. They will stay with her for a few days to help her transition. The morning was fun. Andrew, Al, Lisa, and I joked around and talked quite a bit, while Sonia babbled, cooed, and smiled. We helped them to the boarding pass/luggage-check line. It seemed like a really long trek from the parking lot to the terminal. As we walked Sonia was all smiles and coos in my arms. I had trouble walking because I couldn’t take my eyes from hers. Somewhere along the way she fell asleep in my arms and I am so thankful she did. I think it made it so much easier to say goodbye. Al, Lisa, Sonia, and all their luggage got in line. We all hugged. I kissed the sleeping babe’s perfectly beautiful cheek. I turned around and practically sped through the crowd because I am not one of the lucky few who manage to cry pretty and the tears were coming quick and relentless.


I can’t wait to see the pictures and videos they bring back so that I can see what Sonia’s life is like in Haiti. I know the staff at the orphanage loves her and will take very good care of her; that is a huge comfort to me. I feel like crying constantly, but I keep talking myself out of it. I need to keep busy.

It just so happens that Andrew managed to work out a weekend get away with some of our best friends. It couldn’t have come at a more necessary time! We leave in a couple of hours and I am so excited. Vic and Andrew have been friends for years. {Most would say they are B.F.F., but guys don’t say that sort of thing.} Vic married Julie a year ago in Aruba and we were there to celebrate with them (pictured below). Julie is fabulous and I told Vic he had to marry her after sitting down with her for the first 5 minutes of our friendship several years ago.




 

Isn’t her dress amazing!? Just stunning. Vic, you done good.



I feel very blessed to call them friends and I love them both dearly. We have talked about going on a vacation together for some time now, and this weekend we finally get to do it!



I need a distraction from Sonia's departure. I am sure I will still have my moments when we get down to the Keys, but I think friends, sun, and some good old-fashioned fun and laughter will certainly help to begin to mend my heart.

absences and updates

I have not been blogging much lately because I have been playing with these two…








Cutie Pie and Little Man are down for a few weeks and we have been busy, busy, busy!!!

I have not taken nearly enough pictures, but rest assured I will still post several.

In other news, Sonia is out of the hospital and doing so much better. We have had picnics in the park, Starbucks dates, and hang out time.











She is healing well and has grown up quite a bit since she first arrived. She is a lot stronger, cutting her first tooth, and waving hello and bye-bye. I had the honor of caring for her during the church service last Sunday and I was on cloud nine. I love that baby girl! She has to go back to Haiti in 2 weeks and I am so sad about it. Keep her in your prayers! Pray for her continued progress with her health. Pray for her safety and protection. Pray for her future. Pray for her adoption and for her adoptive family. I know God is taking care of her. It’s very evident that His plans for her are based upon His timing and His resources for her good and His glory. I trust that she will be adopted into a loving home that is perfect for her and that was planned for long ago. My heart will still ache when she is gone and I stop and wonder often how I came to love her so knowing she’d go back. The thought crosses my mind…maybe I should have guarded my heart a bit more. But I know that’s just the part of me that doesn’t like to hurt. Caring for her and loving her was exactly what she needed and doing so has taught me a few things about life, babies, and myself.

here we go again

I wish I had posted a week ago after Sonia had had her surgery because so much has happened since then. But I guess I’ll still start there after I say this, Sonia needs prayer so PLEASE keep them coming.

Last Wednesday Sonia went in for her surgery. We thought she had 2 holes in her heart, but it turned out she had 3 and also needed a valve repaired. She had an amazing surgeon who took a genuine interest in her and cared for her. He is a good man. He was able to fix her heart completely.

After surgery she spent 48 hours in ICU and was then moved to a “regular” room. At the hospital they said that was the best a patient could do. It was good news. Sonia slept a lot for three days and then she brightened up and was a very happy, smiley girl. She had/still has severe congestion and it’s hard to watch her drink a bottle or sleep when her breathing is so labored. Please pray that the congestion will clear.

Andrew and I spent Saturday night in the hospital with her. It was nice having him there and I adore the way she looks at him and enjoys his company.

Then on Monday she was released from the hospital.

Her host family had an illness in the family and did not want to take Sonia home with them because of the risk of infection. So I had the pleasure of taking her for the night. We had a blast and I have never seen her SO happy. Andrew got her to laugh twice and I just about melted.

{Seriously. These two iPhone pictures rank among my top favorite photos of all time. Precious!}

Then Tuesday I noticed she was uncomfortable. She winced a lot and I knew she was in pain. She fussed more than I’ve seen her fuss. And she slept a lot. By late afternoon she felt warm and I worried she had a fever. We took her back to her host family because all was well and lysoled in the home and they were anxious to have her back. But she had a rough night and Sonia had to go to the ER the next afternoon.

Her fever spiked to 103.5 and she has an infection near her incision site. Her congestion is just awful still. So I am really, really sad that she is back in the hospital, but I am so glad she will get breathing treatments and medicine to get her better. I hope and pray she won’t be there for very long.

So please pray for her. Pray for healing and comfort. Pray for her host family. Pray for people to be willing to spend time with her so that she will have someone there with her around the clock. Thank you for keeping up with her and for praying for her.

pray for this little one

She will finally get the heart surgery she came here for TODAY! She goes in for pre-op at 6am {now} and the surgery is scheduled for 7:30am. Please pray for this dear one. She is blessed and very much loved. And please pray for those of us who love her and are caring for her because we are all a tad bit nervous about the {4 hour}surgery and the recovery. 

Please pray that the doctors, nurses, and staff involved with her surgery this morning are warm and kind for her sake. That they would be alert and at their best. That their skilled hands would repair the holes in her heart in a way that would heal her completely. That her life and her story would touch their hearts in a way that would impact them well beyond her time here in Florida. 

Please pray that she would recover quickly and well, without incident or complication. Please pray that her fragile system would remain healthy and that she would not so much as come down with a cold. Please pray for her future, that she would be adopted into a loving home and cherished for the sweet treasure she is.

Please pray for her dear host family. Pray for provision for them and rest, as well as preserved health during this time of recovery. Pray for them to be blessed in return for the blessing they have been to Sonia.

Thank you in advance for your prayers. They are truly appreciated and felt!

it's no secret

...this little girl has stolen my heart. 

 She came home from the hospital after 21 days! Her host family is so happy to have her with them and they have all transitioned quite well to having her home. The boys are very sweet with her.  It is such a blessing to be able to see her with such a wonderful family and I feel so privileged that I've been able to be so involved.

Her health is improving and it shows. She has been all smiles lately.

And all she wants to do is play, play, play. 

She had blood work this week and everything came back great. She is infection free! She has a little while to go on a blood thinner due to the clot and infection from her first PICC line. Then she has to wait a few weeks to let it run its course. Hopefully by then all things will look good and ready for her heart surgery.

Yesterday, we  had quite the treat. We got to take this little one to the pool!

 She LOVED it!

 You could see her trying to figure it out and put her hands under the water and through it. After a month with no baths because of all the IVs and catheters I bet this felt pretty great!

 A ladybug came for a visit.

We all had a blast. My sister came with the little girl she nannies for and I loved having them there. Sonia's "big brothers" had a great time, but I am pretty sure I had more fun watching all the kids play!

Don't you think the picture of Sonia and her host mom above is one of the most precious you've ever seen?

Please keep praying for Sonia's health to improve and for her upcoming heart surgery. Please pray that she is adopted into a loving home, in which she will thrive physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. And pray that the laws in Haiti might become a bit more lenient in order for it to become easier for families like Sonia's host family to adopt from their orphanages. And you should just start praying for me, too. The day is going to come when she has to go back to Haiti. And my heart can't take the thought of not knowing where she is going to end up and how she is doing! 

God has been so gracious to those of us who've had the chance to invest in her life. She is easy to love.

"learning requires practice"

This list is really important to me. I would like to tell you why. But I think Ann communicates it far better than I, so I will give you quotes from her book that I relate to so well. It was like she was talking about me, for me.

"...the list, it feels foreign, strange. Long, I am woman who speaks but one language, the language of the fall -- discontentment and self-condemnation, the critical eye and the never satisfied." -pg 46

"I almost don't see it, but Paul repeats it twice in only two sentences, so I don't miss it:

I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little." (Philippians 4:11-12)

I read it many times, groping for the latch.
There it is -- the secret to living joy in every situation, the full life of eucharisteo{grace. thanksgiving. joy.} Twice Paul whispers it: 'I have learned...' Learned. I would have to learn eucharisteo. Learn eucharisteo -- learn it to live fully." -pg 47

My default is to grumble and to complain. To cry out, "Why me?" in the most trivial of circumstances when I step back to really look at the bigger picture. So what changes a heart like that? This. This joy found in God's Word and in His Presence. His Grace. And my choosing to say, "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." for loving me and gifting me with sweet moments and terrible moments, both of which bring me to my knees and closer to His Heart.

 But it's a fight sometimes a lot of the time to have such discipline. To choose to be grateful. To stop and take the time to acknowledge the gift. So I'm practicing and I'm learning.

DISCLAIMER: Most of the pictures in this post were taken with an iPhone, and an old one at that, so the quality of most of these pictures is not so pretty. But it's the thought that counts.

180. - 228.

spending another night with Sonia at the hospital; playing with her; her smiles

His healing hand

friends in Miami

being home with Andrew after a night away

hearing how Trinity missed me & cried at the door when I didn't come home

feeling good about working out

Sonia finally released from the hospital

the pretty red cardinal on the gate

kitty cat in laundry basket

blogging about BSF

reflecting on Isaiah 

cooking dinner

bringing dinner over to Sonia's host family and hanging out/playing with the whole family

making Sonia smile and holding her most of the night

inspiring blogs

feeling accomplished after filing and organizing

Trinity wanting to be held and her little cat kisses

catching up with Kellie and Jorge

cooking a new recipe well

dinner with our community group

"making his day" with one simple text

laughing and playing with Andrew

kissing on his lunch break

another nap with a sweet kitty in the crook of my arm

3 nights in a row of hanging out with great people/Kellie, Jorge, and Stacey came over tonight

catching up with Cynthia on the phone

waking up well rested

morning walk and talk with my love

sunshine through trees and a backdrop of blue skies

evidence of new life

washing dishes together

afternoon nap with the hubby

cooking those delicious potatoes again, together

Andrew surprising me with delicious grilled steak {and I thought he'd been grilling chicken}

warm and crispy chocolate chip cookies dipped in milk

finding lots of inspiration/ideas on Pinterest {may need intervention. gratitude turned prayer request. ha.}

smiles and laughter from the husband

another morning walk

school of minnows jumping because of a chase

singing at church

singing/praying Healer for Sonia

holding and feeding Sonia after church -- IN church!

a red, ripe, sweet{est} strawberry

another long walk and talk

going through "Tuesday's" questions

a pretty yellow "weed"

the light from a sunset bouncing off walls, windows, and water

a pink sunset
hearing and processing through a sermon {Grace Now} on a passage I never really understood

update on sonia

This sweet baby girl still needs your prayers. She was supposed to have surgery two weeks ago, but cannot get this surgery until she has a clean bill of health. Her body is still fighting an infection and the doctors expect her to be on a constant drip of antibiotics for the next two weeks. That in and of itself is frustrating, but what makes it harder is that her little body can't handle a PICC line. A PICC line would be better for her for two reasons...1. The antibiotics would be administered through the line more efficiently and would avoid her having to be pricked numerous times all over the place as her IV is changed every couple of days since the veins collapse. 2. It would allow her to come home with her host family, making her more comfortable and making their lives a lot less chaotic. They could have a nurse come to their home to administer the antibiotics.

The problem with the PICC line is that they tried it a week ago, but it caused a new infection and a blood clot. They had to remove it and are telling Sonia's host mom that they can't risk it again. This means she will remain in the hospital for another two weeks minimum. That is two weeks of coordinating around the clock care for her. Some one to feed her, change diapers, and love on her. Sonia's host family is busy with two young boys and daily life, thus the trek back and forth to the hospital each day and the stress and worry over her health is taking it's toll on them.

The blessing is that there are many people who are coming together to care for Sonia and for her host family. Many of us take shifts at the hospital, bring meals to her host family, and babysit the boys so that Sonia's host mommy can take care of her or some errands. We have such a presence in the hospital that staff and other families are taking notice of the community that has gathered for a young orphan who would otherwise not have much hope. There are people all over the world praying for her. Will you join us?

Will you pray that the Lord would continue to provide for Sonia's care in the hospital and that people would continue to spend time with her so that she never has to be alone? Will you pray that Sonia's host family be blessed, renewed, revived, and cared for as they care for this sweet girl? Will you pray for Sonia's little body to be completely healed? And for the doctors and nurses who give her care to be filled with wisdom and compassion? Will you pray for her future...that Sonia would become healthy and strong and that she would be adopted into a forever home soon?

P.S. That smile you see there is for Andrew. She loves him way more than she loves me! And it is so darn cute!

night watch and a prayer request

A few weeks ago, I learned of a baby girl from Haiti, named Sonia, who lives in an orphanage and is in need of a life saving heart surgery. Friends of ours were asking us and others to pray for Sonia as they did what they could to see to it that she received the needed surgery. A group of doctors, along with a local hospital board, agreed to perform the surgery and provide Sonia's care free of charge! And so began the campaign to provide our friends with the things they would need to care for this sweet girl as she will stay with them in the months following her surgery. Sonia arrived Monday afternoon and was admitted to the hospital the very next day due to an unforeseen complication. She has an infection in her foot that must heal before they can give her the heart operation she came here for. She may need to be on IV antibiotics for weeks in order to heal the infection and that would hold up her heart surgery which she desperately needs. Please pray for her!

 As of now she is in a part of the hospital that does not have a one-to-one ratio of nurse to patient so our friends asked if I wouldn't mind staying the night last night to care for her through the night. I was happy to oblige. I'd get to actually hold and care for this baby girl I'd grown to love in my many prayers for her little life these last few weeks. She is precious! It was the first time I'd been on my own, alone, and responsible for caring for an infant since my high school babysitting days. Crazy, I know. I was apprehensive, but excited about it. I wanted to serve in this way and the hard-to-explain-it-but-nevertheless-true part of me that is sentimental about the hospital ever since my stay in 2004 was happy to be back in that environment chatting it up with the hospital staff.

The night was great. Yes, I lost sleep due to the whirring machines, the snoring father to the baby in the bed next to Sonia's, the TV he left on, the constant flow of nurses and assistants checking on her and taking her vitals, feeding her, and moving to a private room down the hall at 3am. But I got to watch her sleep and pray for her, read through the passages in my Bible that had meant so much to me when I was in the hospital, sing to her, rock her back to sleep, and take in for the first time James 1:27 in a very real way. It was a beautiful night. One I would be happy to do again if needed. It was the closest I've ever been to understanding on some tiny level what mother's mean when they wake to make sure the baby is still breathing and OK, just want to watch them sleep, and the joy felt at feeding a baby in the middle of the night while a pair of eyes look deep into yours with trust and affection. The first thing I said to Andrew when I got in the car this morning was, "I want a baby of my own, like tomorrow." :)

So if you read all of that, could you do me a favor and just pray for Sonia. Pray that this infection would heal quickly and that they would be able to give her the heart surgery she needs very soon. She's had so many pray for her and love her these last few weeks. Please join us! She is a very precious and blessed baby girl.