so…what’s up with that?

via

So someone said to me recently that my blog had become the birthday post blog. I realize this is true. The reason for that is 1. pretty much half of everyone I know was born in July-September and 2. I have not been feeling like much of a blogger because I've been in a funk. And who wants to read sad, sappy, funky stuff all the time? So most of my bloggity blogging has been birthday celebrating instead of woe is me saga writing. I think I'm back though so stay tuned. Oh, and my next post is going to be Andrew's birthday post. Yeah, I know he was born August 14th. It's been written for awhile now, but since he's my favorite person I had the hardest time writing and perfecting his post. Aaaaaand he is my photo scanner and I was trying to figure out how to scan pics without him so his birthday blog post would be full of surprising, sweet, sentimental snapshots, but alas, he's going to have to scan those puppies tonight because I just can't do it!

1000

This last week I got to my One Thousandth Gift in my gratitude journal. I remember thinking all along as I got closer and closer to #1,000 that I hoped it would be cool, because some days I can write down fifteen things I am thankful for and on others I struggle to write one. So, I thought...what if my one thousandth gift comes on one of those days? And it sort of did.

I've been going through something. It's been in the works for a long time now. And these last few weeks have been hard because I've begun to really deal with that. I think I have been running after and away from the wrong things. For a long time now. And I have started to put those things in their proper places. Slowly. Because old, bad habits die hard, painful deaths.

I have begun to tip-toe away from perfectionism and ideals and it-ought-to-be-this-ways. It's hard to do that. I mean, I put so much pressure on myself and others and it's hard not to because that self-imposed pressure, in all of it's unhealthy glory, gives me a sense of control. So when I am tempted to turn around and pick up one of those idealistic perfectionisms and hold them close to my heart I have to retrain my focus and remind myself what it's all about. Not me. It is not about me. It is about Him. Pursue Him. His Word. His Presence. His Spirit. Him. It is about Him.

My life is not my own. It was a gift. And not only did He give me that, but He did something even wilder. He died to bring me life, abundant and full. And He gave me His Word and the Holy Spirit that I might know Him and know that He is with me.  And when I am running after His heart and His Word, I am pursuing knowledge, wisdom, peace, joy, etc. in the only How-To Manual that I can rely on. The one I have been authoring is quite useless; I can assure you because it is full of impossible expectations and is riddled with formula after formula for failure.

So I am really grateful for change. Though it hurts and it's hard. I am grateful for admitting how flawed I am and how prideful I have been because it takes the pressure off...in a weird way. I am grateful that God loves me and that He is patient and faithful and would never chide me for my foolishness, that He accepts me and loves me as I am. A total mess. And that He calls me out in love through His Word, but doesn't expect me to fix myself on my own because He reassures me that messes are His specialty and if I let Him, He will do the fixing.

And I am grateful that He gave me a wonderful husband because in this world we live in wonderful husbands and good men are rare. But God gave me this amazing man who can handle this mess. Without judgement. Without anger. Without resentment. Without fill-in-the-blank with a sentiment that would be perfectly acceptable and deserved. And he loves me where I am at too. A mess. And he helps me see that this mess, me, I am beautiful because I am a work in progress, not an ideal of beauty to be attained eventually through my self-imposed pressures and perfectionisms.

there’s something about friendship built during the college days

She and I became great friends in college. I can’t remember exactly how we met (Julia, can you? Was it that Speech class?), but I am pretty certain one of the first getting-to-know-you conversations took place in her car. I remember that I just really liked her from the very get go. She is super sweet, but the girl can pack a punch (figuratively speaking). She’s got some spunk in her! I could always count on her to get “worked up” whenever I told her how someone had done me wrong. She may have even uttered the words, “Girl will make me lose my witness” when faced with an encounter of someone who had hurt my feelings. It’s a good feeling to know you’ve got friends like her in your corner.

Maybe we both have some spunk in us…

 

She went with me to adopt Trinity. She actually encouraged me to do it. I am really grateful to her for pushing me because I can’t imagine not having my little Trin. A year later when Julia and I moved in together she and Trinity formed a special bond though Trinity would never admit it. Trinity would curl up in Julia’s lap and pass out, but the second I turned my key in the front door she would spring up and act as if she had been waiting by the door for hours. Julia and I used to joke about it. 

Julia, Beth, and I lived together for two years and it was fantastic! It was so wonderful to come HOME to friends who felt more like family. Julia was a wonderful roomie. She was patient, honest, kind. She cared for me when I was sick and kept me company when I was lonely. We had so much fun together and I will always look fondly on that and part of me will always miss that time in our lives.

Julia brought the party to my bachelorette weekend. Allow these pictures to do the talking...

She and her mother came to the bridal shower I had in Tampa. I had no idea they were coming and I cried when they walked through the door.

 We each were bridesmaids for the other. 

One thing I will never forget about Julia is that she was always Andrew’s biggest fan from the very beginning. Not that my other great friends weren’t, but they were a bit more careful in giving their all out approval in light of the things I had been through. But Julia loved him for me right away.

Julia and I only get to see each other about once a year. I am hoping that will get to change soon as we will be moving closer. I know that I don’t tell her enough how much I miss her and how much I value her friendship!

This week was Julia’s birthday week. I hope you felt very loved and celebrated dear friend! I love you. Happy Birthday!

happy birthday, friend!

I met Rachel through Andrew. Her husband, Brian, and Andrew went to law school together. She and Brian were an answer to prayer! I had been praying Andrew would find good friends while he was in law school because, hey, law school is rough! Andrew being a One L was tough enough, but I ended up in the hospital during his first semester. I was 4 hours away and Andrew had a hard time because he couldn’t be with me. Rachel and Brian invited him into their home on a regular basis and introduced him to one of the dearest church families EVER! They all really helped him through and made what could have been a really difficult time a pleasant one. 

I remember the very first time I met Rachel. It was actually over the phone. I was laying in a hospital bed. Andrew called me while he was at their house and I ended up talking to her, too. I instantly liked her. I thanked her for feeding him dinner every now and then, and I let her know how much she and Brian meant to me though we’d never met. 

The first time we met face to face we abandoned the boys and were in the car on the way to the mall within the first 10 minutes. I knew we’d be good friends. 

She is a wonderful friend. She threw me an amazing bachelorette weekend and bridal shower. She and Brian were both in our wedding. Every year for the last 4 years they have hosted us for an entire week while Andrew goes to a conference in the city they live in, which is always so much fun and so very generous and hospitable of them! They have 2 little boys who are ADORABLE and we have grown to love them quite a bit and enjoy spending time with them just as much as their parents. 

Rachel is the type of gal who has never met a stranger. She instantly makes you feel at ease and welcome. She is the most positive person I know. I honestly have a hard time recalling her complain about anything. I have a lot to learn from her in the attitude and use of speech department. She is stylish and classy. She can do it all -- amazing mama, great wife, good friend, successful business woman, decorator extraordinaire, and she can cook and sew to boot! I love spending time with her and I am so glad God blessed me with her for a friend.

 Happy Birthday, sweet friend! Love you!

oh, to be two

A couple of years ago I met the most precious baby girl in the world. The picture above was snapped as I met and held her for the first time. Ever since she has completely stolen hearts. Mine included.

When Cutie Pie was just 4 months old it was clear that she had a big personality. As she has grown she has made me laugh and marvel because there is nothing sweeter, more fun, and more precious than watching a baby/toddler experience the world around them.

I love her SO much! She is the cutest, funniest thing on the planet and I am so glad I am her aunt. She is one smart cookie. She is polite and sweet, too. I can never sneeze without hearing “Bless you, Sha Sha!” quickly after or say “ouch!” or “oooh!” without her asking, “You okay, Sha Sha?”

She is a girl after my own heart, even at just 2 years old. She loves trying on my shoes and always notices the shoes on everyone’s feet. She really loves books too. I am seeing shoe shopping dates and trips to Barnes and Noble in our future together.

Her mama threw her an intimate and sweet birthday party last weekend. She did a fabulous job decorating and planning. It was absolutely perfect for a 2 year-old party.

 

Cutie Pie really enjoyed it when everyone in the room began singing to her. She kept looking around at all of us with the sweetest expression on her face.

Then came the end of the song and, as most two year olds know, it was cause for much elation and celebration. {I can barely stand it. She totally melts my heart. Look at her and just try to tell me that she isn’t the cutest thing ever!}

And then it was time to blow out the candles. Which was done with a bit of help.

Is it normal for me to think that every single thing she does is completely adorable?

Uuuuummm, could those pants or those curls be any cuter!?

Cutie Pie,  I am so glad the last two years has been filled with play time, skype dates, approximately 15,000 photos, stories about you, and watching you grow. Happy Birthday, my sweet niece! I love you to pieces!!!

she's growing up

She was born when I was 13 years old. I remember the morning I found out I was going to have another little sister. I was just waking up and still laying in bed when I overheard my parents talking softly in the hallway about how they would share the news with Kellie and me. I leapt out of bed, opened my bedroom door, and let them know I had heard and was excited.

The picture above may be one of the only pictures we have of her between the ages of 2 and 4 in which she’s actually wearing an article of clothing. Luckily, she grew out of that stage.

She is a lot like me. We are social butterflies. Both of us could talk your ears off. We are both perfectionists to a fault. {Insert panic attacks and crying sessions here.} We love working with kids. We have killer dance moves and can tear it up on the dance floor.  Our favorite is Jesus and we both love Him.

She is amazing. She is an A student in advanced classes. She is an incredible artist. She volunteers with the children’s ministry at church. She is an awesome friend and a fabulous sister.

The proudest moments I have had of her are just watching her come into her own. She doesn’t give herself enough credit. She is the epitome of awesome. I will never forget her leading the children in song and worship one Sunday morning. She was on the stage in the main sanctuary in front of the entire congregation full of poise, confidence, and contagious joy. I might have shed a tear or 30 watching her.

I think Stacey enjoys making and giving gifts to others more than receiving them herself. Every Christmas she spends hours making treats, art, jewelry, etc. for friends and family. She is so generous and sweet. The picture below is a sampling from about 4 years ago.

And here are a couple of samplings of her art work these days…

I went away for college when Stacey was only 5. We wrote letters and talked on the phone, but I still feel like I missed her growing up and getting to know her. So this last year when I took the year off from teaching one of the greatest blessings I gained was spending more time with her. I picked her up every day from school and got to help out with school projects and homework. We had old fashioned sleepovers and just had fun together.

I tell her often, but I still don’t think she knows just how proud of her I am. She has grown into a beautiful young lady from the inside out. She celebrated her 17th birthday this week!

Happy Birthday week, Stacey! I love you more than the world!!!