home is where your heart is

If you know me well at all, then you know that I talk about the 407 as if it is the Promised Land. Although I grew up in Miami, the six years I lived in Orlando were enough for me to make it and call it home. When I left Miami I didn’t look back and I had no intention of returning. Then I found out that I would have to move back because of Andrew’s job. I was not happy about it. I came back here with my heels firmly dug and dragging in the dirt. I held onto my 407 area code as if it would save me from my reality, and the day I had it switched to 305 I went into mourning. Would I ever get back home? Was this really it?


Miami is so not me. I am not flashy. I am not designer. I am not artsy or well cultured. I am not rich. I do not have the body it takes to walk around in Spandex as if it were considered an acceptable outfit. I do not speak Spanish. I am not of Latin decent. I do not have a fancy car. I do not desire to have a night life. I don’t party. I do not know how to dress the part, act the part, and speak the part of a Miamian.

I need community. I long to have friends that are willing to be vulnerable and real. I need a church where the Gospel is preached and not diluted. I want to live in a neighborhood where the neighbors actually speak to each other. I want good schools for my future children. I want to be surrounded by people, who for the most part, are nice and considerate of others. I want to live in a quieter place where the mantra of me me me isn’t heard in the buzz and the go go go of the city.

So for a really long time I lived here in Miami, but I only loved Orlando. I wouldn’t even think about giving Miami a chance. I thought about Miami as a very temporary place for me to lay all my stuff down for awhile. I had written it off and was just looking forward to the day when I could pack up all my stuff and finally take it home. I didn’t think that all the things I “needed” to consider a place home could be found here. So I never looked.

I am an extremely relational person. Andrew will tell you that the first time I meet practically anyone, I am making plans to become the very best of friends with them or thinking of ways that I can help them and he has to bring me back to reality and remind me that it isn’t always best or possible to be great friends with everyone we meet. Miami people tend not to be relational at all. So I whined and complained and cried about how much I needed a kindred spirit. I had never had a season in life in which I did not have a best friend close by and I did not know what to do with myself!

So I got desperate. I finally turned to the God who claimed me long ago for comfort and for friendship. I am stubborn so this complete and not just partial reliance on Him to fill this void in my heart only took 3 years or so. I began spending more time in prayer seeking His presence and asking Him to change my heart so that I could love others through His eyes. I sought His Word more, like I did in the old days, and it calmed my heart. I still thought about Orlando, but I didn’t feel panic for not being back there yet. And then the strangest things began to happen. I found a kindred spirit right here in Miami. I began to appreciate and love my church. I found community. I started seeing what a gorgeous city Miami is and how much it has to offer.

God is sweet, good, and faithful like that. Psalm 37:4 says, “take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Please don’t misunderstand what I am saying here. God is not a genie in a bottle. He did not give me what I wanted because I did something right. I sought Him out. I let go of my wants and realized that He needed to come first and that I needed to change my heart and the only way I could do it would be through prayer and reading His Word. Yes, He did give me the friend I had longed for, but I wouldn’t have made that friend if it wasn’t for going to BSF to study His Word. Yes, He gave me a great church and community, but I didn’t see what I had in them until I began to seek Him out in the matter. He gives us the desires of our hearts. He realigns our hearts. When we seek Him we gain new perspective and we learn that home is where He sends us and has us right now.